Trust issues
by Nefariously
Summary: Love isn't always pretty. Shounenai and Kanda torture.


A/N: Ok

**A/N: I started this in maths class, when I suddenly had the inspiration for this. This story will contain shounenai and most likely yaoi. So I'm just warning you at the start. **

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Lavi was an apprentice bookman, so he notices things. Even when the particular person tries so hard to hide it. In fact, he _likes_ noticing things people don't want them know. Kanda was simply a victim to his curiosity.

'Hello Yuu-chan, what did you do last night?' he asked, pouncing on onto Kanda's back.

Just like he expected, he stiffened under his arms. 'I slept, you bakka usagi.'

That was when Lavi realised that there was definitely something wrong. Kanda had deep purple bags underneath his eyes and he looked as if he was going to have a fainting spell. The chances that he had three fantastic naps weren't high.

There was another other factor that make Lavi so suspicious. If you asked the Japanese samurai a direct question, there are two kinds of responses. The first one is to ignore you and the second is to make a sarcastic lie. But he would never actually lie to cover the truth. Lavi knew that better than anybody else. It was quite obvious by his stressed and hurried lie – so obvious – that something wasn't right.

As Kanda's best and only friend, he was determined to find out what this was.

He was curious and besides, he was supposed to be bookman – he thirsted for interesting knowledge.

Even if it meant sneaking into his room.

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It was late at night, and Lavi was keen on putting his plan into action. Standing outside Kanda's room, he knew the risks. Hell yes he knew them. If he caught Kanda really sleeping, wither all hell will be let loose or he would be given a cold shoulder possibly for the rest of his life.

He knew which one he preferred.

He crept up to his room and pressed his ear to the door, straining his ears for any unusual activity. Kanda should be asleep by now, it was almost midnight.

Lavi took a deep breath and turned the handle slowly, trying his best not to make any creaking sounds. Creeping in was easy – he was light footed by nature. He looked around the uniform room, and sighed. Where the hell was he supposed to hide?

The room only consisted of a bed – which a certain Kanda was sleeping in, a wardrobe and a chair. So there were two options, under the bed or in the wardrobe.

He chose the wardrobe.

Before he stepped in, he took a peek at the sleeping boy, peacefully snoring away. He realised there that this was possibly the first time he saw Kanda so at ease. There was no trace of a frown or scowl. Just a strange kind of contented neutral emotion.

It almost made him… happy.

Lavi frowned. He must really be Kanda's best friend. He cared far too much about him.

Shaking these thoughts from his mind, he climbed into the wardrobe and shut the door in front of him. In midst of all the coats and shirts, all the darkness made Lavi feel slightly claustrophobic. He hoped something would happen soon, he would hate to have to sleep here for the rest of the day.

He thought of Kanda sleeping peacefully outside, and he unconsciously smiled. Kanda had absolutely no idea how feminine he looked, with his hair pooled out around the pillow. He sighed and slowly fell asleep, all the while trying to remain awake.

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The next day, it seems, Lavi woke to the sun shining. He covered his eye with his hands and tried to block the light that streamed in. How could it be so bright in the wardrobe?

He removed his hands. How _did_ it become so bright?

He slowly opened his eyes… and promptly screamed.

'Yuu-chan! You nearly gave me a heart attack,' he said accusingly, trying to steady his breathing.

Having Kanda staring at you with what looked like murderous intent wasn't the best way to start any morning. And having a Kanda with his pyjamas plus mugen was even worse.

Lavi sighed and looked at the boy pathetically. Honestly, how the hell did he know that Lavi was hiding there?

The next deadpan statement answered his unsaid question.

'Get out, you snoring rabbit.'

Lavi pouted. There was no surprises there. He should have known that he would snore… He remembered why he was inside the wardrobe in the first place and sighed. There was obviously nothing wrong here. He laughed inwardly. Perhaps he was looking into the Kanda Yuu case a little too carefully?

'Aww Yuu-chan, that's harsh,' he grinned.

Kanda gave a 'che' and took a exorcist coat out. He shut the wardrobe door and walked towards the bed, facing away from Lavi. He slowly undid his buttons but stopped halfway through, growling in impatience as Lavi started doing them up again.

'Let's go take a bath,' he said, actually quite thankful that Kanda didn't just strip in front of him.

'I was going to go. But why should I go with you?' he asked irritably, changing course and slipping the coat over his pyjama's.

'Maybe because you love me so much?' he guessed, throwing a smirk at Kanda.

He ignored him and held the door open for him. Lavi stared at him in confusion, not really understanding. Did that mean that…

'Well? Are you coming or not?' he asked.

Lavi's face brightened and he smiled. He was about to glomp the hell out of the boy when mugen suddenly flashed into sight. 'Don't come any closer, rabbit,' he growled.

'Hai… Hai…' Yuu-chan would always be Yuu-chan wouldn't he?

The walk to the men's bathhouse took them all the way to the bottom of Headquarters. Lavi strolled behind Kanda as they walked the well worn path. He always loved walking alone with Kanda, just the two of them. When they were alone, he would sometimes show a side of him which most people doesn't even exist.

The best part was probably that Kanda only did this for him… He would only let his guard down when _they_ were together. Although Lavi had no idea what happens while he was in the company of others, he just had a gut feeling that he was special to him.

'Ne Yuu-chan? Do you mind if I hold your hand?' he asked at the unsuspecting boy in front of him.

'Whatever.' The reply would always be the same and Lavi would entwine their finger's. He reached for his hand now and held it tightly, as if it was going to slip away any day.

Lavi looked at Kanda, waiting for the small explosion that was sure to follow. But he only said… Nothing…

He looked determinedly ahead, throwing one or peaks each minute, always saying the same thing in his mind. _He will never change. He will never change. He will never change…_

'Oi, usagi. We're here.'

Lavi blinked twice, and then seeing the doors which were marked 'Male,' smiled again at Kanda. He just found out something… Kanda hadn't shaken off his hand and nor did he seem to show any signs of wanting to shake it off anytime soon…

In response

_Maybe change isn't bad._

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The canteen was filled with people, chatting talking and just enjoying themselves. It was still early in the morning, and ,any of them were still asleep. When they saw a certain red head dragging a swearing Kanda in though, they stopped their chatter – no matter how immersed they were – and looked up in interest.

Not realising that they were all listening, Kanda and Lavi continued with their quite one sided argument.

'You idiot, you didn't need to cling to my arm like a woodpecker does a tree. I would have come anyway.'

'But Yuu-chan, you might have run away from me.'

Kanda wrinkled his nose. Lavi got him stumped there. 'Fine. I might have. But that still doesn't mean that you can just do whatever you like. And who gave you the permission to hold my hand while on the way to the bath house anyway?'

'I asked you, remember?' whined Lavi, grabbing his arm and presumably hugged him. Kanda sighed and punched him under the chin – lightly but still hard enough to hurt. 'I never said yes, you imbecile.'

Lavi pouted and whined. 'Yes you did! You said yes, Yuu! Yuu, you cheater! You did! You did!'

Kanda rolled his eyes at the evident use of 'Yuu's. He noticed the sea of people watching and promptly slapped a hand over Lavi's mouth. He turned around nonchalantly and said in a clear voice, 'If you guys have nothing better to do, then I would advise you to help with Komui's paperwork.'

Only Lavi heard the caramel coated sarcasm that dripped from the statement. He grinned at conversations that were starting already.

'My my Yuu, you have a talent for threatening people, don't you?' he said, directing his smile back to Kanda.

He ignored Lavi and strolled forwards towards the que. Lavi followed with a small sigh. He could never quite understand the workings of Kanda's mind. One minute he had a sense of humour and the next minute it disappeared into thin air.

And one minute he was accepting his touch and the next he was biting his head off…

Talk about mood changes.

It had been even harder for him not to concentrate on Kanda these days. 12 times he had to remind himself that he was going to be future bookman. That he couldn't get attached. That he couldn't worry about anybody… Yadda Yadda… Honestly, the actual bookman made it seem so easy…

No, he shouldn't think this way – he wasn't due to be bookman until the current one died. Kanda needed a friend to look out for his back. If he couldn't do it for himself, then he would just have to take his place didn't he?

Lavi knew what would happen if an akuma threatened the safety of an innocence. He would probably give the innocence to him and throw himself towards it, not caring if he dies – as long as he destroyed that devil. It was his responsibility to step in. He would protect the bakka no matter what happened.

But will being his friend only truly satisfy him…?

He shook and head and scanned the hall, turning his thoughts into what he should have for breakfast. He couldn't think like that. His gaze landed on Allen, who was walking towards them now, with a happy grin on his face. When he saw Lavi, he waved and hurried over.

'Good morning,' he said politely, tilting his head down. Lavi was about to speak when Allen's cheery smile was replaced by a smirk. He straightened up and gazed at the next person in line.

Lavi raised an eyebrow. Allen had grown so much that he was the same height, maybe even taller. 'Whoa Allen,' he said, 'we leave you for a few days and you develop an exponential growth spurt?'

Allen tore his eyes away from Kanda and he stared at Lavi instead. 'It has been 8 months since I last saw you. What are you talking about?'

Kanda, who hadn't noticed Allen until now, had turned an almost ghastly white. He clenched his fists and looked straight ahead, as if not wanting Allen to acknowledge his presence. Allen returned his glare onto the boy and licked his lips, not really nervously…

'Is there something I'm missing?' asked Lavi, waving a hand in front of Allen's eyes.

'No,' Allen replied softly, 'there isn't anything at all…'

Kanda's knuckles turned white. He quickly turned around and took a shuddering breath. 'I… am not hungry…' he growled in the most threatening voice he could muster. He whirled around and ran out of cafeteria, almost in haste.

A profound silence followed the exit. Lavi quizzically looked at Allen, who's smirk had transformed back into his carefree smile. 'Honestly. Is it just me or does Kanda seem as if he hates you more than usual? He even skipped breakfast just because you popped up…'

Allen shook his head and shuffled forward a bit – the line had moved. 'No. He can't possibly hate me more than what he did when he first met me,' he said, almost bitterly.

Lavi looked positively alarmed by the tone of his voice. He didn't reply this time, for his previous suspicions popped back into his brain. Millions of different scenario's played inside his head, each more ridiculous than the rest.

'Uh… Hey Allen, have you heard of the ball tomorrow?' he asked, searching for another subject.

'Yup. I can't wait. Are you going to be singing?' he asked, referring to singing contest Komui had set up personally for the exorcist and finders – even though that made up the general population of the order.

Lavi laughed. 'Nah, I can't sing. But I heard that Miranda is going to sing this Japanese AND English song... I forgot it's name but that's bound to be interesting.'

Allen face lit in interest. 'Really? Miranda? I can't wait… I hope she doesn't screw up and make a fool of himself… She's done enough of that already…'

'Yeah… ha… ha.'

The line moved and they both shuffled forwards. Lavi sneaked a look at Allen, who was humming a merry tune and he frowned. There was something going on with Allen and Kanda. Especially Allen. One minute he looked positively evil and the next he was chatting about inconsequential such as a dance.

Well… At least Lavi _thought_ that the ball was going to be inconsequential. He should have known that Kanda wouldn't sing voluntarily.

Understatement of the century is not even a strong enough saying for what happened.

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**Allen, Kanda, Lenalee and Lavi are all 17 years old in this fic. Remember that if you still want to continue reading. Second chap is already written but major changes are needed, as usuall. It'll come out someday. But when it does, whenever that is… get ready for our pretty little seme Kanda and our controlling uke Mr X. D**

**Cheers, LArc**


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